Mahlia Milian, a promising and beautiful young African-American porn starlet, who I had the pleasure of knowing, has recently left the porn industry due to personal issues - namely a pregnancy, which she's had to go through all by herself.
She could really use your help in the form of donations since giving birth to a beautiful baby girl in November.
***Side note: It's amazing to me how so many porn industry professionals who know of and/or who have worked with this young woman (and who have probably made quite a bit of money off of her efforts) - and who love to bitch and moan about how the porn industry needs to be "saved", have not come to her aid.
I really hope that Mahlia's past agents have enough of a soul and conscience to donate to help this young woman and her child. Plenty of industry professionals have enough connections and means to hold a fund raiser in support of Mahlia so that she can start a new life, so I hope that someone steps up to the plate and does the right thing.
As an adult industry professional (whether you're a pornstar, exotic dancer or webcam girl) you need to be aware that you ARE in the "public eye" and much more visible than than your average everyday person. Essentially you are a sort of "celebrity" and though there are many perks that come with fame and notoriety, there are also a few drawbacks as well - one drawback in particular is that you are often more likely to attract STALKERS.
Adult industry professionals (in my opinion) have a bit more of a difficult time dealing with stalkers than your traditional mainstream celebrity, because stalkers who fixate on pornstars for example, don't just fantasize about their target sexually, they actually have media (videos, online clips, etc) of which they can WATCH their target in what they perceive to be their most intimate moments, which may only fuel the fire they have for the person they're fixated on.
Stalkers who's targets are adult industry professionals often believe they really KNOW YOU because you've turned them on sexually.
Adult Industry professionals tend to be more at risk when it comes to being harassed and possibly attacked by stalkers due to them being more accessible than you're "traditional" celebrity. Adult industry professionals often are not as financially well off as your "A-list" actor or actress, and therefor have less of a "buffer zone" surrounding them.
Also adult industry professionals may not be taken as seriously as their "mainstream" counterparts when reporting a stalker to the authorities due to the negative perception that many people harbor in regards to "sex industry workers".
There's a very thin line which separates a "fan" from a "stalker" and many women (and men) who work in the sex industry aren't immediately aware of the difference, so here are some tips to help you determine who is a healthy fan, versus who is a potentially psychotic obsessed stalker:
Normal fans will send you a fan letter or fan email every once in a while. A potential stalker will attempt to contact you in every way they can weekly or possibly daily.
A potential stalker will research your real name and home address. A healthy fan will not.
Normal fans will state how much they like your WORK and only your work.
Normal fans will generally not approach you outside of an industry event.
Normal fans will not follow you from an industry event or anywhere else.
Normal fans will not constantly try to get you to go out with them.
Normal fans will not try to weasel their way into your "inner social circle" through your friends, acquaintances or professional contacts.
You know someone is a stalker when you tell them to stop contacting you, and they don't respect your request.
Someone who attempts to meet you with the false promise or work or jobs may be a stalker.
Stalkers often times are narcissists who really believe that by entering your life and attempting to befriend/date they are doing YOU a favor. Some stalkers realize that women ESPECIALLY in porn tend to have low self esteem and will exploit that issue within their target. Anyone who attempts to bully their way into your life you should STAY AWAY FROM.
A stalker is a person who become aggressive towards you when you reject their advances.
As an adult industry professional, especially a pornstar you need to be VERY careful that the person you are dating (or friends with) is not in actuality a stalker. I have known several women in the industry who have found themselves dating someone, only later to find out the person had been their fan for years and owned every single one of their porn videos.
Stalking is illegal and in Los Angeles there are actually anti-stalking laws which are in place and enforced.
Here are some links for more information on identifying stalkers, dealing with stalkers, and keeping yourself safe:
Initially when I started GettingIntoPorn.com , I designed the site as a resource primarily for women interested in entering the adult entertainment industry. However since the site's launch, I've received just as many (if not more) inquiries from men as I have women about the "ins and outs" of the porn world - questions about how to get in, how to make money, how to create a bit of longevity for yourself, etc.
Initially I was hoping to partner up with a male in the industry who'd be as willing as I am to share their knowledge (and their perspective) - well, unfortunately I haven't been able to find one as of yet. The men I've approached in the industry have been a little (forgive my bluntness) bitchy about giving advice to newbie males looking to get started. Maybe due to the current lack of work and not wanting to have competition - who knows.
It's OK however because I've decided to take the initiative and tackle the questions about the male end of the business myself (hell, I do everything myself as it is already anyways, why should this be any different). I've gotten to know the business well enough to at least share the mechanics of how to enter the adult world as a male so I'll share what I've figured out at least up to this point.
This coming year when I launch the webcast for GettingIntoPorn.com I will be including a "male performers corner". Also when I have time I'll ad a "male performers tips" section to the site www.GettingIntoPorn.com
Today's blog is a bit more directed towards the emails I've received from my readers in regards to requesting advice on how to open a porn studio, distribution company, clips store, etc.
I'll tackle the mechanics of the questions once I launch the show / video blog for gettingintoporn.com (which hopefully I will do before the end of 2009). Today I'll start with one rudementary piece of advice: LEARN THE BUSINESS FROM THE GROUND UP.
I've found that the most successful individuals in porn who direct, run studios and/or produce content were at one time not only adult talent's themselves, but have worked in nearly every capacity of the business. Look at studio owners like Sky Blue, Vince Vouyer & Lexington Steele.
In order to be successful and lead in any industry you opt to enter, you need to have a clear and detailed mental picture of everything and every position which is vital to the finished product. You also need to be willing to take on any task (regardless of how unimportant or low on the totem pole it may seem) within that business. If you don't, then you're sure to overlook important details which are crucial.
So before you decide to sink your own money (or someone else's money) into your dream "porn studio" venture - take the time to see if you can handle working nearly each and every position within the porn industry first.
Click here to read Mahlia Milian (Nyesha's) story and to make a donation to her and her child via ThePinkCross.org
